ONE NIGHT DURING WWII’s BATTLE OF BRITAIN, Winston Churchill received top secret info that the Germans were going to bomb the city of Coventry England. He knew this because British intelligence had broken the German wireless code. This put Churchill in a predicament. If he warned Coventry, the Germans would know the Brits had broken their code. They would change it, and a huge British advantage, one that might decide the war, would be lost.
Churchill didn’t warn Coventry. The Germans bombed a city that had received no advance notice. The one-thousand-year-old Coventry Cathredal was reduced to ruins. Hundreds died. Thousands were seriously injured. Thousands of homes were destroyed.
However, in terms of the larger war, Churchill did the right thing. His willingness to preserve the British intelligence advantage ultimately shortened the war and saved millions of lives.
Whenever I read this story I ask myself—could I have made this difficult decision? Would I have been able to live with myself afterward? Could I have lived with the guilt caused by my decision knowing that it would cause immense suffering that the victims would never understand?
Sometimes it is loving to hurt people, but those enslaved to unrighteous guilt will be UNable to do this.
Good and Bad Guilt
Churchill’s story is a parable of the Chrisitan life. For most of us, guilt towards people is a significant problem. There are times when we should feel guilty. We slander. We gossip. We speak cruel words to someone. We ignore people in need when we should help. We act selfishly. In all these cases guilt is appropriate. It is God’s gift, motivating us to take biblical steps of restitution. That means asking God’s forgiveness, then those that we have wronged.
But what about the times when we have done nothing wrong, but still feel guilty? That is the point of this column. This is where I struggle. I would bet you do at times also. I would like to think I could have made Churchill’s decision, but I’m not always sure.
Sometimes we must love people by disappointing them. A man abuses his wife, and I must confront him. An irresponsible person asks for money, and my conscience constrains me to say “no!” Someone I love is suffering the fruit of their sin and the loving response is to let them suffer. I do that, but they don’t understand. They are angry. They are deeply wounded by my words or my response to them. Are you able to live with that?
You go to God more convinced than ever that you did the loving thing. In fact, you wanted to help them, but that would mean getting in God’s way.
So, you let them suffer, but you still feel guilty. You know you shouldn’t but there you are—wallowing in unrighteus guilt. How do we solve this problem?
Two Commandments
Jesus gave us two commandments that sum up all human obligations. The first is loving God with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength. The second is loving others as we want to be loved (Matthew 22: 37-40). The only way I can overcome guilt towards people is by focusing on the first commandment. What is pleasing to God? How can I love him? Do I love God enough to suffer the disapproval of others? In short, do I fear God’s opinion more than those I love?
In other words, my love for people must be motivated and ordered by a greater love for God. I must love them the way God wants me to love them not the way I want to love them or the way they want to be loved. True love is not always soft and comfortable. It has teeth. It is willing to bite. It will love another enough to hurt them. Parenting is just one example.
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24, ESV).
Church discipline is another example (Matt 18:15-20).
Judgment Seat of Christ
The second remedy for unrighteousness guilt is an eternal perspective—the Day of Final Judgment. On that day we will give Christ an accounting. What will you wish you had done then? This is what it means to fear God. Fearing people and their response is a short term barrier to true, rich, helpful biblical love. On the last day we will bitterly regret all attempts to love people motivated by unrighteous guilt. The biblical term for this false guilt is the fear of man. “The fear of man is a snare” (Proverbs 29:25). The fear of man keeps us from loving biblically.
William Bates, one the old English Puritans said it well.
Fear the Lord because it is the best preservative against sin; the love of God is that which constrains us to service, the fear of God is that which checks and restrains us from disobedience.
IN CONCLUSION. Only the Christian who fears God more than he fears man is equipped to love God more than people. The person who loves God more than people, who prioritizes the first commandment, is the only one equipped to love with God’s love. To do this we must daily posture ourselves before the judgment seat of Christ. We must be willing to be misunderstood, to bear the reproach of others. That is what it means to be truly loving.
Would love to hear your thoughts.
